Being a teenager isn’t easy. Teenagers go through many different changes internally and externally.
In addition, they’re building relationships and connections with others, forming strong bonds that they hope to carry into adulthood.
But there are positives and negatives to everything. Where there is life, there is also death. Teens can have a difficult time navigating a loss, especially of a loved one or, sadly, a friend or acquaintance.
Here is how you can help your teen cope with grief.
Help Them Keep a Routine
A loss, especially an unexpected one, can wreak havoc on someone’s emotional and physical state, schedule, and routine. It may be more difficult to complete everyday tasks like eating or sleeping. You can help your teen by keeping them on schedule. Not only will this ensure they’re taking care of themselves inside and out, but they’ll also maintain a sense of normalcy, especially when things feel out of their control. Ensure they eat healthy and well-balanced meals throughout their day and prioritize their sleep.
Show Up For Them
As a parent, you want your child or children to be healthy, happy, and safe. When something bad happens, you only want to fix it for them. When it comes to grief, you can’t just slap a bandaid on the wound and call it a day. Grief takes time. You can’t fix what your teen is going through. They have to work through their thoughts and feelings on their own terms. Let them know you’re there for them instead of trying to fix them. They may want to be left alone. Or they may want a shoulder to cry on, someone to just be with them, or someone to talk to. Ask them what they need from you and show up for them in those ways.
Monitor Their Social Media Usage
Social media has its benefits, but it also comes with downsides and pitfalls. As your teen is processing their grief, social media can provide photos to remind them of their loved one and a community of people sharing memories and well wishes. This can provide your teen a distraction from the pain they are feeling as well as a way to process. However, it can also provide an avenue for rumination and unhealthy fixation on the departed. It’s essential to allow your teen to find the balance. Ensure their social media doesn’t make them feel worse or angry. You can set limits on their phone with certain applications or timeframes so that they can be on their phone so that you can ensure they’re not doomscrolling.
Allow Them to Be With Friends
Grief can make some individuals want to self-isolate and be alone. Others may want to be with their friends or loved ones so they don’t feel alone. Either way, encourage your teen to be with their friends and to lean on their loved ones for support. Isolation can lead to poor mental health and hinder the grieving process.
Seek Additional Support
There isn’t a right way or a wrong way to grieve. You can’t circle a date on a calendar weeks or months from now and expect everything to go back to the way it was before the loss occurred. Everyone handles grief on their own terms. Even as a parent, you won’t have all the answers for your teen or this difficult time in their life. No one expects you to have all of the answers either, not even your teen. If you and your teen are looking for extra support, a licensed and trained mental health professional can be a great resource for you both. Reach out today to set up an initial consultation for therapy for teens.
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Blog content is for educational purposes only, not medical/psychological advice
Dariush Fathi, PsyD
Dr. Fathi is a licensed clinical psychologist based in Westport, CT. He offers online therapy to aspiring teens, adults, and couples throughout Connecticut and New York.